Cool Sounding Name

Minutes before I was bald

This is a story about the best mullet I have ever seen. It belonged to a woman who looked to be in her mid 40’s, working at Wal-Mart. It’s always Wal-Mart. If you want a good mullet, it’s the place to go. Just like if you want to find someone who can throw a discus 5 miles, you go to Germany. Someone who can run faster than a bullet train? Kenya. Mullets? Wal-Mart.

This woman’s mullet was breathtaking. Quite long in the back, quite short on top – in no way did it even attempt to resemble a modern hairstyle. The coloration was quite interesting as well. Above the ears, bright white. Below the ears, dark brown. I imagine she has grey hair and stopped dying it brown, but there was no gradient. It didn’t turn from white to brown, the white just STOPPED and brown started, at a precise level around her head.

Aside from the coloration, the styling was also quite fascinating. Long and stringy in the back, very greasy and thin looking. The short white hair on top however was teased up to a considerable volume. One can only imagine the hair product involved. Mousse? Hair spray? I have no idea. It had volume not seen since the hair bands of the 80’s, but her whole hairstyle had a very conical shape to it. The poofed bit on the top was JUST the crown area, nothing on the sides. Picture a top hat without a brim, and made out of white hair sprayed hair, with a blanket of lank brown hair in the back.
All in all it gave a rather pinheaded appearance.

I thought it was fascinating.